not my circus. not my monkeys.

I woke up on the morning of our 21st move in eight years excited about finally getting into our own house and also a little nervous about having to actually commit to living life like a (modern?) eighteenth century homemaker.  But there was no turning back.

A few days later, as I parted my way to the composting toilet in the middle of the night, I began to seriously question some of my life choices.

After returning back to bed with an emptied bladder and a racing mind, I started  ruminating various exit strategies, none of which were extremely realistic.

My mind began to wander to intense reflection of the events that transpired in the recent past, bringing us to this exact point.  And then it hit me.  The undeniable truth of it all. You asked for this!

Rewind to the previous year-ish…

you wanted your husband to be home every night /  now you are tripping over his shoes

you wanted to live more sustainably / you are peeing in a composting toilet

you wanted to be off the grid /  you are living without power

you wanted to spend more time with your kids / you are homeschooling

you wanted to be closer as a family / you live in a 700 sq ft garage together

How does that saying go???

So after a good laugh cry, I realized that there was only one thing I could (try to) do.


If I am:

annoyed at my husband (and his shoes being left right in front of the door)/ be GRATEFUL he is home with us and happy with his new career

regretting drinking that 3rd glass of water before bed / be GRATEFUL for an excuse to get out and see the stars

fumbling to prepare supper in the dark /  be GRATEFUL for candlelit dinners with my family

struggling to divide my attention between my kids /  be GRATEFUL to have these extra moments with them

seeking solitude in our chaotic ‘box’ /  be GRATEFUL for the memories we are making

(I am also a lot more specific when I am ‘asking’ the universe for something!)


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