tea in a whisky bottle

This is me!  Not whiskey in a tea cup, but more tea in a whiskey bottle!

On the outside I come across as outgoing and social.  I’m fun at parties, can talk to anyone, and I’m pretty much the funniest person I know!  But on the inside I am actually quite a loner who would rather stay home reading a good book  (or pinning) than go out and have to socialize.

The struggle is real!

Despite knowing this about myself, I still somehow seem to have a problem doing the latter when the former is an option.  I have no idea why it is so hard for me to say ‘no’ to social engagements.   I’m not overly concerned about disappointing people by not attending their event and I most often seem to regret going once it’s over, but at the time I somehow seem to trick myself into thinking it will be more fun than it usually is.

And this is not the only area of my life with which I am at odds.  Pretty much everything I do seems to be one extreme or another;

-I am mildly vain but too lazy to do anything about it (i.e brush my hair, wear sunscreen, exercise, etc.)

-I want to eat and live healthy but mostly conclude that if I am not eating an organic, raw-vegan diet grown from my own garden and doing hours of yoga and meditation a day then I might as well have a hamburger and a beer and try again tomorrow (or Monday, or next month if tomorrow is Monday).

-I want to spend time with my kids but I can always justify throwing a movie on for them so I can have some time to myself (it never works btw).

The list goes on and on…

I recently finished a nutrition course that suggested the best way to make changes is with simple steps (basically the exact opposite of my ‘giant leap’ approach).  So instead of taking an extreme jump and not making it over and over again, you make small and simple changes that can be attached to habits you already have like doing jumping jacks before you brush your teeth or drinking a glass of water 5 minutes before eating.  Simple right!

But I cannot seem to figure it out.  Maybe there is just too much chaos and not enough routine in my life (although I do eat and brush my teeth everyday!).  Or maybe I am just too  stubborn with my ‘all or nothing’ attitude.

So I guess the moral of the story is that I have no idea what I am doing and even though I have a general idea of where I want to be, I’m no wiser about how to get there…

Life=1, Me=0





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