”I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear:
I’m not screwing around. It’s time. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go.
Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever.
Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.”
~ Brené Brown
my. greatest. fear…
“Our greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding at something that doesn’t really matter”
It has been around two months since we have moved to the ranch and started homeschooling the kids and things have been…interesting.
The homeschooling program went on an extended hiatus over Christmas and it seems like we are only now getting back into the groove. I am still struggling every day with what I have been told my entire life of how and what kids are supposed to learn at school, and what I truly and deeply believe to be the best way for them to learn.
I think the hardest part about accepting my unschooling/homeschooling regime is that the majority of the world hasn’t and I can fully appreciate my kids growing up and feeling like I shorted them on a proper education the same way I feel a little cheated out of not being taught in an enriching environment that may have allowed me to really explore my talents instead of teaching me a bunch of crap I didn’t care about.
I am also feeling a little guilt because my Mom has been visiting for the past month so we have been spending most of our time at her house poaching her electricity and internet and the kids have been spending WAY more time on Netflix and youtube than I would like to admit (I may be overdoing it on Pinterest myself).
I have been finding solace in my books on tape and have been listening to The Four Agreements repeatedly for the last couple of weeks. It is my reminder of why I am doing this and that it is not meant to be easy…something I have had a hard time remembering lately!!!